batmansymbol:

batmansymbol:

if it’s late enough and you’re lonely enough, the carly rae jepsen lyric “before you came into my life i missed you so bad” starts seeming increasingly deep and emotionally complex

3:02 AM and this fucking lyric looks like fucking nietzsche

stare into the abyss and the abyss will call you maybe

blameaspartame:

everyone’s a critic
“Go for the person who makes you smile with all your heart and soul. The person whom you can’t wait to see or talk to. This is the person whom you’re meant to be with. The person that you know in your heart is right for you.”
peetababy:

my boyfriend just changed the game in 140 characters or less

meladoodle:

autodumb:

boys hands are VERY important to me

i imagine theyre pretty important to them too

khaleesiofhale:

deanckles:

I want a story about a gay girl disguising herself as a guy to get into an all boy school. When she meets her roommate, he happens to have a banging personality and a very pleasing face. The girl has a sexuality crisis because she starts to fall for the roommate but in reality, the roommate is actually another girl disguised as a guy so that she can attend the school

#the entire school is just gay girls dressed as guys in hopes of attending the school (via buttergin)

blunk182:

DATING TIP: Hold the door for your date. Rip the door off its hinges. Use the door as a weapon to fight off other men. Establish dominance.

! ! ! !

dannyboy-to-thedoctor:

rneerkat:

*pulls out bread at wedding* i’d like to make a toast

NO YOU DON’T GET IT 

MY DAD LEGIT DID THIS IN HIS SPEECH

AT HIS OWN WEDDING

it was hidden in his inside-jacket pocket while he made his vows to my mum, and it was so top-secret that his best man had to smuggle in a slice of toast so no one saw it while he was getting ready. 

…HIS OWN FUCKING WEDDING

werewolfzero:

How many Hogwarts boys do you think Madam Pomfrey has to fix every year because they messed up trying to cast an Engorgio on their dicks

  • me: haha hey guys do u dare me to eat this whole thing of ice cream
  • them: no
  • me: *shaking my head and chuckling* i cant believe you guys are making me do this
  • them: we're not
  • me: *eating right out of the thing* this is so wild you guys you're so fucked up for making me do this
“No one ever gets tired of loving. But everyone gets tired of waiting, assuming, hearing lies, saying sorry, and hurting.”

Unknown (via hqlines)

Unknown (via hqlines)

I can put my phone down beside my bed and pull my two layers of blankets up over my shoulders, rolling over until I face the wall becoming so content and ready for sleep. But as soon as my phone lights up and I know it’s you, I’ll take the chance of being restless just to see what you have to say. Because time spent on you is much more comforting.

2:13am

(via do-not-humpme)