shipsnamedenterprise:

*planet explodes* *removes one earbud* what

(Source: i-keep-cruising, via sams-supernatural-dick)

vvhaleshark:

i love bald people but where does their forehead stop, does it just wrap around their head? is it just one big forehead? where does it end

(via sams-supernatural-dick)

bloody-nips:

when you accidentally make a baby cry and you don’t know what to do to get it to stop

image

(Source: slimydad, via sams-supernatural-dick)

jpgay:

atleast i dont say eargasm when i hear a good song 

(via sams-supernatural-dick)

clelta:

We were talking about Shakespeare in English class and the tradition of throwing tomatoes when the actors are bad. Well it turns out, back then people thought tomatoes were poisonous, and so people would aim at the actors mouth and try to kILL THEM WHEN THEY WERE BAD AT ACTING OMG

(via davidtennantscoat)

unkhs:

I used to be like “I wonder what would happen if I set this thing on fire” and since then I’ve learned that more often than not the answer is “it’ll be on fire”

(Source: bauks, via davidtennantscoat)

One time in class, I got fed up

  • This was one of my favorite teachers ever, he didn't believe in homework and was just the coolest dude ever
  • Teacher: I won't be here tomorrow so I left worksheets for the teacher to give you.
  • Kid: why can't we watch a movie?
  • Teacher: because the school board doesn't like us to show you movies that don't have anything to do with the curriculum. They say that movies are for home and we need to keep your home life separate from your school life.
  • Me: then why do they give us homework?
  • Whole class: .....
  • Teacher: .....
  • President: .....
  • Miley Cyrus: ....
  • Me: ....
  • Teacher: Samantha, please. Whatever you do. Bring this up with the principal because that's the best argument I have ever heard.